Saturday, 26 January 2008
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A step at a time...
I'm back from cousin Lingy's Adelaide wedding. Back from my dreaded supplementary test. Resumed work. Resumed exercise. Life should be back to normal, yeah?
Nah.
The wedding was great. So many familiar, and some not-so-familiar faces. Faces that, given time I'll probably get to know much better. More of the generations from mummy' Lim's side are choosing to live in Australia. I remember, once again, what it's like to have cousins. Was sad, and in some ways I still am sad that Ling's hitched. I hope married life doesn't change her too much. Call me selfish, but I rather liked being fussed over by her and Min. Not that I'll ever know what I did to deserve it - I was a pretty spoilt and lazy child. Anyway, fat chance of me getting as much affection now... darn all this growing up :P
I sat the supplementary, am pretty sure I failed it. Life can be so cruel at times. However, I don't and can't regret what mark I will eventually end up with - if I fail, I will fail knowing I tried my best and that my study or score would not have changed any other way. unless they allowed me more time to write. I don't know if it was nerves, but this is the first exam, let alone supplementary, that i have ever failed to complete. I do question that result. Alas, the progress of Time is inexorable and allows no chance for a good wallow in my own sorrow. There's lots of things to do. And I was looking for an extended holiday. Maybe this is God's (painful) way of telling me I need a rethink? =P
Going to apply for that TV/newspaper modelling job. It's giving me incentive to exercise. Exercising actually feels really good; I don't know why people like it, apart from the sweat. It's not like we only have showers once a week, right? Sometimes I shut my eyes when I am exercising and i feel where I am boxing (with weights), or I listen to the distant pounding of my heart as I run through the steps, feeling a satisfying ache spread through my muscles. Squat, lunge forward, lift back slowly, feel the shoulderblades retracting... ahh. Was also talking to some other friends who have a resolution to lose weight, but these friends are shyshy about it. They don't want to tell anyone their goal, maybe in case they fail to meet it? I don't see the logic (but I can empathise with the underlying thought). Some people are fat, some people are thin. Some can help it, while others can't. Where's the shame in stating where you stand, and were you want to stand? I guess, if I did not have that sort of mentality, life as a physiotherapist would be very stressful; seeing overweight, at risk patients in my clinic all day. God help them. And me.
I'd post a profile pic up of me pre-exercise, but I've already started to bulk on muscle and lose weight since the exam on Tuesday, so I'll have to do the before-and-after shot with one of the wedding pictures in Adelaide.
Charles said there might be a job for me with the Brisbane Strikers (soccer) during their coaching sessions, working as one of the sports trainers. I hope that pulls through. I've still got to tie up some loose ends with other centres, Baroona Road Physio and the one in City Clinic Toowoomba, for example. If I don't cut into final year physiotherapy, I'll probably do a stint out with one of them. Also, if I don't have physiotherapy this year, it might allow me to arrange for placments in England - I'd love that, to get some contacts and a network happening over there. Will see how things pan out.
Share market has been chaotic the last week or two. My shares fell heaps, and so to did my attitude. Vanessa was partly right. Not totally, though; I bought more shares when the dip was at its nadir, and in the last two days the profits look pretty decent. Mummy Lim says not to trade unless I need the money, but thats the whole point. I do. Not for the small, tiny things like bills or going out. But for things like my car and house. Every hundred counts. =)
I miss the good old days when study wasn't study because I found it relevant and interesting. I miss the times when I found it easy to listen because I convinced myself I didn't know anything. I miss the nights when I could sleep easy because I had no responsibilities, nothing to tie me down and tame me. Well, those days are gone.
There's only the future to step into, not the past.
teDDe~
Will post piccies of the wedding shortly...


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